By Slacker

A group has petitioned the White House asking that the national anthem be changed to the R. Kelly tune, “Remix to Ignition.” The petition says, “We, the undersigned, would like the Obama administration to recognize the need for a new national anthem, one that even a decade after its creation, is still hot and fresh out the kitchen.”

It continues, “America has changed since Francis Scott Key penned our current anthem in 1814. Since then, we have realized that after the show, it’s the after-party, and that after the party, it’s the hotel lobby, and perhaps most importantly that ’round about four, you’ve got to clear the lobby, at which point it’s strongly recommended that you take it to the room and freak somebody.”

Unfortunately, the petition only has just over 1,000 signatures… that’s 99,000 short of the required signatures needed by April 2nd for it to actually be considered.

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