With summer popping up soon, that means somethings will be popping out.
Such as your boobs.
It’s all fun-and-games when your first date is at a water park… yeah… cool, waterslide sounds great. We haven’t even made out really, but here’s a nice view of my left boob that decided to make its appearance. Or wooow thanks for inviting me to be your +1 to that wedding full of your family I haven’t met yet. This dress I’m wearing… well, it’s backless. Sticky boobs are a hilarious joke, considering they stick about 30% of the night before they slide down and I get stomach boobs. So now I’m chatting your dad at the open bar, and sliiiiiiiip… SHE’S OUT TO SAY HI AGAIN!
Being a girl is a lot of layering we never asked for. So when I asked Metro Detroit, “Hey, where’d your boob pop out?”, answers like Kalahari, St. Andrews, I-94, and plenty other well-known places weren’t surprising.
Waterparks may as well keep a tally in the back for how many make their appearance in one season.
Tips for keeping your boob from popping out at the waterpark this summer:
- Don’t go
- Wear a scuba wetsuit
- Wear a scarf with your bikini. Fashion.
- Develop an allergy to water
- Duct tape your bikini to your skin. Multiple layers of tape. High fashion.