The Seven Types of People at Coney Island After 2am

February 22, 2018
1. The group of people dressed in some sort of a theme. Notice Dave tweeted that they were bar crawling at 3 pm. Usually once themed bar crawlers reach Coney, they're so disheveled you have no idea wtf theme they're going for except 'People who pay to get dressed up and drink for 14 hours'. 2. The girl you saw puking in the bar across the street's bathroom and is now eating chili cheese fries with her eyes closed. You're doing amazing, sweetie. 3. The one emo couple that are holding hands across the table while eating a Hani. What's most impressive is the roar of drunk people around them doesn't stop them from looking into each other's excessively lined eyes. 4. The drunk guy who walks around and talks to every table like he's at his wedding reception. Go away. 5. The defeated waitress waiting for her ride. She's waiting to leave and after tonight it might be her last shift ever. 6. The girl telling her crying drunk friend with ranch in her hair to STFU. GET IT TOGETHER, SARAH YOU'RE SO EMBARRASSING 7. The dad eating alone that nobody can figure out if his day is just starting or ending??? Forever a mystery.